


Desalination

by Storygirl000



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Gen, TW: Nazi mention, fandom salt, reaction to new smash content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29523996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygirl000/pseuds/Storygirl000
Summary: A new fighter has come to Smash. The fanbase's reaction is immediate and expected.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Desalination

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, Pyra's here.
> 
> I'm neutral on her (never played Xenoblade), but I AM annoyed that we seem to have descended into squabbling once again. Hence, this.
> 
> Please don't bring your arguments to the comments.

It was a lovely day at Smash Mansion. The sky was blue, the birds were chirping, and an angry mob had just gathered in the mansion’s front yard.

Mario, Link, and Samus tiredly stood at the windows, watching the crowd. Half of them had signs proclaiming things like “PYRA ROX”, “MORE XENOBLADE CONTENT”, and “SAY YES TO THE BREASTS”; the other half had signs reading “PYRA SUX”, “NO MORE SWORDSMEN”, and “WORST DESIGN EVER”. These made for wonderful improvised bludgeons, as the mob had broken out into a free-for-all brawl that would make even the most critical competitive Smash players proud.

Mario gave a world-weary sigh. “Remember when-a this was-a just a fun little party game that-a no one argued about?”

“It was like that at some point?” Samus snarked back.

A noise behind them caught their attention, and they turned to see Shulk leading Pyra in; the fire-powered Blade looked rather shell-shocked.

Link raised an eyebrow. “How’d you get her past the mob?”

“Took a back entrance,” Shulk explained. “Do any of you know where Hero or either of the Byleths went? I think she needs to talk to them.”

“They-a started waiting for her in-a the living room the moment the mob-a started forming,” Mario answered. “Congrats on-a getting in, Pyra! I’m-a so sorry it-a had to be like-a this.”

“Um...thanks,” Pyra replied nervously.

As Shulk led Pyra to the living room, the others turned back to the windows...and noticed something flying towards them at high speeds. Quickly, they got out of the way just as whatever it was broke through one of the windows.

After taking a second to confirm that no, it wouldn’t explode, they turned cautiously towards it. 

It was an ordinary brick with a piece of paper tied to it. Link, against his better judgement, removed the paper from the brick and looked at what was written on it.

“‘If you don’t add Crash Bandicoot to Smash’,” he read, “‘then I hope you die in a firing squad, you bunch of...’”

He paused, furrowed his brow in confusion, and looked over at Mario and Samus. “Hey, do either of you know what ‘nazis’ are?”

Samus groaned, and Mario buried his head in his hands.

It was going to be a  _ long _ day.

**Author's Note:**

> The brick note is paraphrased, not from a comment about Smash Bros, but an insult I found towards one of the artists of the Archie Sonic comics who'd posted the rough sketch of a...controversial scene. Let's leave it at that.


End file.
